Love and Bonfire




There is that point in time when you wish for happy ever after endings – the Disney version of a love story where you both go through tough times together and then survive it and be triumphant about it. The typical love conquers all type of thing. However, in reality, love comes with a lot of effort and commitment to each other. It is not something that you leave up to “love”. It is not saying that love is not enough. It is saying that when you love someone, you have to make an effort to keep the fire burning. You have to keep adding wood to the fire and watch it every now and then to make sure that the fire is still there.

In a bonfire, two things work together. Wood and wind. You build a fire and you add wood to it to keep it burning. And you have to fan it every now and then to keep the fire burning. However, if you leave it as is, it will burn all the wood there is and will eventually die if you don’t fan it.

I think it is the same thing with love and relationships. One becomes the wood and the other the wind. If one would not add wood to the fire, then no matter how much the other tries to fan the flames, it will eventually die. It also goes the other way around. If you keep on fanning it and not adding wood to the flames, it will eventually burn the love out of the relationship until nothing is left.

We are not in a world where men do all the effort and women takes all the benefits. In a relationship, women have to do things for a man to keep him happy and satisfied as well. And not because women do these things mean that men have to stop courting the woman too. It is both’s responsibility to take care of each other and not just one making all the efforts and the other one gaining from it.

It is not always the man who makes the mistakes. Women make mistakes as well. And it is the responsibility of the man as well as the woman to admit to such mistakes and try to work out on reconciling the differences. Accepting mistakes is the hardest part and yet the easiest way to start the ball rolling to resolve any issues between two parties. However, if one admits to a mistake only to expect the other to do the same, well, issues and conflicts would never be resolved.

Love and commitment are two very strong words to be thrown into a casual conversation. You say you are committed and yet you don’t show it doesn’t mean anything. You say you love someone and yet you don’t show it means nothing as well. It is always a give-take situation. Just like the wood and the wind in a bonfire.