A decade of trying to figure out what to do with my life. A decade of trying to find the right one for me. A decade of trying to be the knight in shining armor to the damsels in distress. A decade of going nowhere.
It felt like forever yet it was just a decade that passed. Relatively long, relatively short. And yet, looking back, I am not satisfied. A decade passed, yet I haven’t found what I’ve been looking for. A decade passed and I still have a void within me that has yet to be filled.
Instead of the knight in shining armor riding the white horse, I feel like the defeated warrior looking for the end. Everything seems hopeless, I feel helpless. Just like the defeated warrior, I drag my way through life, living each day as it arrives. Desperately looking for that glimmer of hope, someone who is in need of a white knight. However, I have nothing left to give, nothing left to offer. Maybe except for one. If ever someone accepts.
All those years, I tried to give a piece of me to every damsel in need, only asking for one small thing to make me whole; one small thing to fill the void that has been eating me up inside. I only ask for the chance to prove that I am the white knight they have wished for, hoped for, prayed for.
All these damsels in the past faded as memories fade. They passed through my life as grains of sand passed through my fingers. Nothing is left. Nobody stayed. Nobody gave me that one small thing that I ask for.
Now, the shining armor has faded, the old metal getting rusty. This warrior has grown old and weary. All around me, damsels are no longer in distress. No one needs a white knight to save them from their distress. There’s no more need to don the shining armor and ride the white horse and be the hero of the day. No one needs to be saved. Not anymore. Maybe except for me…